I’ve become a big fan of Facebook groups recently. It’s where all of my Cluster B support groups are.
I’ve been looking for a while for a good Facebook group for DBT. Unfortunately it wasn’t as easy as expected. The problem:
Trigger warnings have taken over. In one group I’m a part of, the arguments over who was and wasn’t using trigger warnings and when, got so out of control they had to shut down new posts. Seriously, people?
I find this to be baffling. The point of learning DBT is to better regulate our own emotions and change unhealthy behaviors. Expecting everyone to anticipate what will trigger us and act accordingly seems counter to the purpose of learning DBT.
In my opinion, it’s just more asking others to walk on eggshells. I’m trying to get rid of my personality disorder, not continue expecting others to work around it.
Learning DBT helps us do that – with mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. So we should be using the skills we are learning when we feel triggered. After all there is no way we are going to avoid all our triggers out in the real world.
Let’s face it, the majority (if not all) of DBT groups cater to those with Borderline Personality Disorder. There are a lot of similarities between NPD and BPD and in my real life DBT class, I honestly don’t even think they realize I’m not one of them, our experiences are so similar.
But online people feel a lot freer to attack others, especially when they don’t realize there are people with NPD in the group. The idea that narcissists can’t become self aware is still pervasive.
In the end I find myself being triggered without empathy, by the same people who have a 200+ long list of trigger warnings they need for themselves. Not cool.
Real World DBT
So, I started my own group, Real World DBT, for learning, practicing, sharing tips or resources, and seeking advice on DBT skills.
While anyone is welcome to join, the emphasis is on those with NPD, CPTSD, anxiety and dissociation. And there are no trigger warnings required.
To my knowledge it’s the only group of its kind.
The structure of the group is laid back. You can be as active as you’d like. Every week we will highlight a new skill, and at the end of the week anyone who wants to share their diary cards, progress or challenges can.
Throughout the week we will support each other, offer resources, and give/ask for skills advice.
Real World DBT is a group for those with trauma-based disorders to learn, practice, share tips and resources, and seek skills advice, on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), including mindfulness and grounding techniques for dissociation.
Who: Emphasis on those with/suspect NPD, C-PTSD, Dissociative Disorders, Anxiety Disorders and other personality disorders. However, all interested in learning DBT are welcome.
In this group there are no trigger warnings required. We can’t always avoid our triggers. It’s up to us to learn how to cope with our emotions in a healthy way. Learning DBT helps us do that – with mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.
Want in? Join us!